Dallas Does Hillary vs The Dystopic Democratic Hellscapes

I sometimes participate in hashtag games on social media. Because I’m an incredibly busy and utterly-serious-always man. As some of you might have been able to tell by now. (?)

*cough*

Sometimes I make them up. New hashtag game challenges. Purely as a writing exercise in private. Or easy source of inspiration.

The piece I wrote below was one I devised for the following *improvised* hashtag pair:

#WorstExcusesForNotVotingHillary2016
#HashtagGames

. . . . . .

Dallas Cowboy cheerleader tryouts, which could not be rescheduled, no matter what. Not even if, for example, say a traitorous yet imbecilic madman (to give a hypothetical "worst case" villain straight-out-of-fiction) had somehow gotten charge of a nuclear weapon or two and, oh say, was threatening to launch them, surely any day now, at his imagined enemies and/or non-fans, or NATO allies, or California.

        Granted, they say that "Cruel Irony" is the most frequent cause (or mere justification) of the most depressing and dystopic timelines woven through our universe's 13-dimensional quantum string cloud. Okay, technically only a *single* outspoken string theorist/physicist has/had been/will-be saying that. And while his papers are/were/will-be often cited in major journals, it has also been observed that the stringy, emaciated-looking young fellow sits/sat/will-sit alone in the university cafeteria, always.

        Well, *almost* always. But not on the morning he was ultimately awarded the Nobel. Cruelly ironic -- in some ways -- because he was by then well into his 70s, and a 5th (not ex) wife and responsible for a combined total of approximately 300 children, grandchildren or remote post-doctoral students, all living either in Neo-China, or in deep underground US.gov bunkers, or in techno-fantastical submarines roaming care-free through the teeming bio-utopian oceans of Elon's Mars.

        (EDITORIAL FOLLOW-UP: The Dallas hopeful came close but failed to make the cut, ended up getting COVID during The Trump Shitshow and sadly did not survive long enough to see a truly sane, decent and patriotic man take the oath of office: Joe Biden.)